by Anne Griza
Sexologist
Sexologist
Since heydays, boys learn that they possess a penis and that when they grow up it will be used to derive sexual pleasure. An excessive appraising exists of such sex organ, which represents prowess and virility. During their growing process, comparisons occur, for example, if it is growing in expectedly way, if erection is taken place during masturbation, among others.
The boys learn that their pleasure is important and take such lecture along to adult life. They may go throughout a long period worrying about the amount of sex that they possess other than the quality of sex that they have.
It's quite common, men brag about the number of sex partners that they done in a given period, or how often they have sex in a month.
Such is the idea of male sexuality practically imposed by society that prizes man's sexual pleasure. The macho idea that the male pleasure is much more important than the female's and that a man can't refuse sex in no circumstances, ideally, keeping up sexual relations at high rates.
A great too many worry so much about their performance that ended up having difficulties due to anxiety provoked by such perception. To be always ready for sex isn't easy, for there are biological and psychological components in order to have erection and pleasure in the sex act, masturbation inclusive.
Nevertheless, since sexual revolution and female liberation, man is placed in a situation unknown until then, which is the appreciation of woman's pleasure and a need for quality in her sexual relations.
The female has demanded from her partner to be given real pleasure and not just a plain sexual relation with penetration. Both winds up by finding out that sex isn't only a penetration of the penis in the vagina, but a moment whereupon exchange of lots of caress, touch, gaze, kisses and reassurance are bound to take place. And the male comes to realize that might as well he derives pleasure out of it, on top of gratification for providing his sex partner delight of sexual relation, ultimately.
He realizes that not only his penis that is capable of inducing sexual pleasure, so much for masturbation, but all his body and sensations stemmed from two bodies matching. Hence, he learns that her sighs can drive him overexcited, and that a particular stroke spark goosebumps or that a simple kiss might lead him to ultimate pleasure, unlikely his solo career of masturbation as bachelor.
Sex bears more quality, further pleasure.
Such notion is quite new, and men, by and large, are being realizing that the macho of a bygone era will not survive much longer. Sex only for the sake of sex gone out-of-date, regardless of being with a steady partner, it must be well done. Conversely, men have rebuked attitudes like despise or lack of affection in the sexual relation practiced by some still.
Off course, for a man used to emulate dreams of grandeur while masturbating, such is rather spic-and-span and sometimes he might not know how to handle it. Moments of insecurity might crop up and glitches are likely to occur along his attempts of getting everything right.
Coming to terms and confidence in himself and partner's will spot him to self-satisfy and thus please further his sex partner in bed, something he never thought off possible in masturbation. As everything in life, it's a matter of time until getting adapted again; after all such novelty is very good.
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